heartbeat

We *finally* surpassed the 12 week threshold of Baby James' cooking time, and were able to go public with our news. It's exciting to talk about it with everyone, and have everyone be all excited for us. Our little person will be loved from coast to coast.

We were able to hear the heartbeat (very fast) and get an ultrasound at our 12 wk appointment. He/she looks like an actual little person, even though only measuring a whopping 2 inches long. What's happening in my body is very bizarre and a lot to think about. I try not to fixate on it too much. It's too much to handle.

Yay baby! It's getting more and more exciting. I'm a lucky lady.

you should write

Having been encouraged by my husband last night to write, I thought maybe I should try to be more devoted to my little blog. I've never blogged for public consumption -- only for myself. I used to livejournal like it was nobody's business, and while it was read by a few people I knew, it was mostly just for me. And it serves its purpose --- I occasionally go back and read it, and am transported back to moments in time. Its good to reflect on where you were and how far you've come. If we'd stuck to our original plan, we'd be moving to Minnesota in approximately 17 days. But --- in typical fashion, life clearly has other plans for us. We are staying in AZ for the foreseeable future, and are anxiously (and with a mild amount of terror) awaiting the arrival of Baby James #1, who is scheduled to show up around November 1. It's all very exciting and scary and overwhelming and strange. I can't quite get over the idea of a tiny human being (who is currently ~2 inches long and looking like a person already) existing inside me. And the fact that I'm responsible for its development, and eventually, its survival and upbringing. But, given my tendency to be a lunatic, I am remarkably calm. I kind of feel about it like I used to feel about college papers and projects. Something that I had not even started would be due in 2 days and I'd start to freak out (kicking myself for the 834th time for waiting till the last minute) --- and suddenly, a sense of calm would wash over me as I realized, "It'll get done". That's it. It'll get done. It may be hell and I may be miserable for the next 48 hours, but it'll get done (on time) and soon it will be behind me. That's what I think about this pregnancy and subsequent motherhood. I can spend all day getting bogged down in the details: how can I possibly give birth? how will we possibly afford a baby and all the stuff that tiny people need? what about my maternity leave? what about our schedules and daycare? But, at the end of the day, the only truth is ........ it will get done. And every parent I know and thousands of people on the Internet that say that parenthood is the singular most amazing and fulfilling experience of their lifetime can't be wrong. So, here we go. Life is good. I live with my very best friend, and we have a little house, and a little dog and a little James on the way. We live a simple, little life and it's perfection.